Wednesday

Current Sound Bites: Feist - "My Moon My Man," "I Feel It All," & "So Sorry" (The Reminder); Brandi Carlile - "Tragedy [Austin Cello Version]," "Fall Apart Again," "Sixty Years On [Live]," "Someday Never Comes," & "Happy" (Brandi Carlile)



I figure I'm pretty lucky to have a summer job I actually enjoy. But I'm still enjoying that today I have a mid-week day off.

Emotions can be such a pesky thing. On a somewhat related note, reading about a friend's relationship woes reminds me of how lucky I am. I don't have to look anymore, and that's a nice thought. Mainly because I found everything I've ever wanted and more (and despite the clichéd sound of that statement, I mean every word). I enjoyed being single, but I don't know if anyone really loves those moments when you really have no idea if that person you're interested in might feel the same about you... at least, I would think most people would have a limited supply of amusement dedicated to that sort of activity, and then one would just want to know where the hell he/she stood in the eyes of the other person. Or at least that's how I remember feeling. There was only so much uncertainty I could talk myself into "enjoying" before I just wanted to be done with it. But I've always been one of those people who just wanted to talk about things, even if I didn't always have the nerve to do it... talk about it and get answers, no games. And, then again, I'm sure that general feeling was only exacerbated by my efforts to distract my attention from what I really wanted for a long time out of fear that it was the wrong decision. But all that's over now, and I can laugh about how silly some of the things I thought and did actually were in retrospect. I couldn't trade any of it because one extra (or less) word might've changed everything, but I also like it a whole lot better on this side of the fence. Especially since I'm peering backwards while sitting beside who I wanted all along.

So, the twenty-first approaches... thus, my twenty-first approaches. No big plans at this point, especially since one of the people here I'd most like to spend it with very possibly won't be available. But every year we have the usual low-key celebration at my grandparents' (well, just Grandma's now), and this year's no exception. So I'm guaranteed some really good food, even if Grandma's not so keen on clanking margarita glasses together in honor of the occasion.

It really is a shame that summer is so incredibly short. There were several people I had every intention of visiting while on break from school, yet the summer is quickly coming to a close and I've only made one road trip (which was just shortly after school let out anyway). And it's looking like every weekend from here on out is set aside for something. Time flies, and I wonder if I will ever fully come to terms with that. I might believe it, but I don't have to like it.
I move into school on the eighteenth of August and start classes the twenty-second (and the fact that I keep checking around for stores to put out their new planners but have had no luck finding one yet, and therefore have been prevented from writing down said dates, is really bugging my planner-obsessed self). Only one of my book lists is online, and it's for the class that I might switch out of to take another section of the same course, so it doesn't do me a ton of good at this point. Still plenty of time, so no worries. I know for sure I'll be taking a course on Islam with my religious studies major adviser, a poli sci course called Global Governance, International Politics (a core class for the poli sci major), and then either a sociology course (fingers crossed) or another poli sci course (theory, to be exact). It'll be a good semester and, even though I love being home for the summer, I also can't wait to get back on campus. So if time is going to fly without my permission (which is incredibly rude, Time, by the way), at least I have something to really look forward to in the fall.

Oldie but goody: Dr. Mario, old-school style.

I don't understand how it is that scrambled eggs can taste so different depending on who makes them, especially since they're supposed to be one of the easiest things to make, but my Grandma's scrambled eggs are the only eggs of the sort I can say I've ever loved. I must learn her secret, or I shall quite possibly be damned to overly greasy or disgustingly fluffy scrambled eggs forever. Not that I've tried to make them myself yet, but I just have this feeling I couldn't master my Grandma's technique without her extra special guidance.

"i feel it all, i feel it all :||
the wings are wide, the wings are wide
wild card inside, wild card inside

"oh, i'll be the one who'll break my heart
i'll be the one to hold the gun

"i know more than i knew before :||
i didn't rest, i didn't stop
did we fight or did we talk

"oh, i'll be the one who'll break my heart
i'll be the one to hold the gun

"i love you more :||
i don't know what i knew before
but now i know i wanna win the war..."

"'i'm sorry' / two words i always think after you're gone / when i realize i was acting all wrong // 'so selfish' / two words that could describe / oh, actions of mine / when patience is in short supply // we don't need to say goodbye / we don't need to fight and cry / we, we could hold each other tight tonight // we're so helpless / slaves to our impulses / we're afraid of our emotions / no one knows where the shore is when divided by the oceans / and the only thing i know is the answer isn't for us..."