bah

for some reason, i'm up @ 3:08a. perhaps a long island, sweet sweet white wine, prednisone, benadryl, medication to heal my old-man throat, etc. all have combined to have the opposite effect they're all supposed to have, i.e. drowsiness? all i know is i've been lying in bed, thinking thinking thinking. and writing to-do items on my hand. and drafting e-mails. and looking up books to buy. and finally i decided to return to the couch, which cradled me earlier as i watched "iron chef america" to try to lull myself into slumber... but i figure now i might as well get some stuff on that hand-y (don't judge my pun @ this hour) to-do list done. maybe that will wear me out?

today i met with dr. dawisha, a political science professor here who specializes in middle eastern politics & is in charge of the middle eastern studies program. i've been planning to study under him next fall, perhaps all of next year, & today we discussed the course i'll be enrolled in in greater detail. we skimmed through the syllabus, discussed my responsibilities as a grad student in the course, the assignments i'll complete, etc. but more significantly, we talked about my future a bit. i've been seriously considering applying to political science PhD programs from about the moment i set foot on this campus... & actually for much longer than that, as my background is in religious studies & political science & it was really just a toss-up deciding which discipline would be better suited to my interdisciplinary/cross-disciplinary interests. i'm learning that those interests might be best served in a political science department, although i haven't completely ruled out applying to a handful of religion programs post-MA as well (gotta spread those eggs out into as many baskets as possible). i've done some research into the poli sci route, & would probably want to specialize in comparative politics & international relations (most programs, it seems, require you to select two specializations, one sometimes as a sort of "major," the other as a secondary focus). i've been keeping in mind the fact that a PhD admissions committee might expect me to complete a second master's before a PhD, since my graduate work will have focused on religion & politics but not in a political science department (which means my methodological/theoretical training wouldn't be quite the same as if i'd done a poli sci MA). but i learned today, in conversation with dr. dawisha (who is incredibly helpful), that i might in fact be able to bypass a second MA & even make myself into a fairly strong candidate for the poli sci PhD if i play my cards right. this deck of cards would have to include a 4-credit course in quantitative analysis in the fall of the coming school year & a "pro-seminar" in either comparative or IR in the spring, in addition to POLS 790 with dawisha in the fall (the main reason for our meeting today). but apparently there are no longer french or german language requirements for admission to the PhD programs as there once were, & having arabic training will strengthen my application.

this is all excellent news, although it will require a LOT of work on my part. lots of additional work my own department doesn't require of me, & lots of work that will make it very challenging to focus on my thesis. but i'm determined to finish in time, & i think if i plan things carefully & set my own staged deadlines, things could work out rather well. as long as the courses i'm taking outside my department are still producing chapters of my thesis, i shouldn't have trouble finishing -- a chapter this summer, a chapter each semester of next year, working another in there somewhere... establishing a thesis chapter as the required project for each of these courses will allow my coursework to be more focused & i can have the best of both worlds in a way. i'll need to be self-motivated, but the firm deadlines for each class will require me to produce the work. if i could defend the thesis before june 2011, i could ideally just have revisions & formatting left for the remainder of the summer & could be free to travel to jordan on the arabic program my professor here at miami leads. my tuition should be waived for the jordan program since i'm a grad student, & my professor is hoping to hire tutors for me to work @ a more accelerated pace. the more arabic i have under my belt the better, & the financial end of things couldn't get much better. sooo... moral of the story is, i've gotta bust ass for the next 14 months. bust ass. i'm going to revisit my schedule now, plan out my courses & the chapters i can produce for the thesis in each, & go from there. here's hoping i can be more efficient than ever before. i think i'm up for the challenge, because i love what i do. time will tell, but it'll all be good for me. i'll just have to remind myself of that about every day for the next 14 months: it's all for my own benefit, all the work is worth it. this is what will get me where i want to go.